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Wishing to stay by your family’s side for the rest of your life wherein you will never missed any opportunities that is happening to them sounds like a dream right? But real life is building barriers towards that dream because as much as you want to remain with them forever, will be having some minor scratches because you need to think their own welfare too. Like attending your jobs and do overtime works so that it can give an improvements to your income, doing presentations in the middle of the night, talking with a lot of clients in the morning wherein you will eventually notice that time files really fast because it is finally nighttime when you finally arrived to your house. Your children are now sleeping peacefully in their rooms and the only one who accompanies in your midnight meals is none other than your spouse.
You think a lot of ways or approaches on how to make up with your family to fulfill your duty as a parent but your pending workloads cannot even give a decent rest. You are worried that someday your children will treat you as an “unseen” parent, gradually losing their fondness to you. These are the reasons that hinders a family to be strong together due to lack of communication:
1. Sometimes, your children are afraid of you.
Have you experience a situation that whenever you come home from work and call for your kids, is that they will just ignore your presence? The answer is, they are just too shy to approach you. When the children rarely sees one member of the members of their family, there is a big chance that they will feel awkward towards that person. But do not come into a realization that they are angry or love you less, finding the right words in having conversation to make a connection with you seems a dilemma for the. Give all the time that your children need. Forcing or shouting at them will not cause any good, it might cause even bigger problems like trauma for them if you these actions. Explaining your current situation especially your job to the kids will make them realize that you are a hardworking parent who values their future.
2. You do not give much attention to your spouse.
Your job may be important to secure your family’s financial matters, but if you make it as your top priority wherein you cannot provide enough attention and affection for your spouse, then your relationship with another will start to crumble apart. As advised by the article, “What Happens When There Is Lack of Attention in Relationship?”, (https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-attention-in-relationship/) we married the person we love not just because we have love the idea of fallen in love but we see ourselves with them growing old as years go by. Meaning, this is the person who you made a vow in the first place that you will be there for him/her in sad and gloomy times. When you are now building your own family, remember that your dreams are not only the ones that matter, but also them too. Loving and committing yourself in your chosen career is a fine thing to do, but when relationship starts to crumble apart, then all your efforts will turn into nonsense.
3. You easily get irritated by problems instead of reaching a solution.
After a long day of work, your spouse is running towards you to show the bills that will reach their due dates already. Then, your partner also reminded you the upcoming tuition fees of the children’s school. And in addition to that, the bank is also calling some issues about your debt and they need to set up a meeting with you immediately to discuss those matters. Severe problems are instantly coming your way in which you cannot deal with it anymore, so instead of solving them, you decided to yell at your spouse continuously to express the fury that formed in you. Slowly, it turns into a fight wherein you cannot control both of your reactions.
When your spouse or partner is confronting you with these serious circumstances, then discuss it with him/her as calmly as you can. You can tell your disappointments but not to a point that you will point out each other’s mistakes. The only way you can do to lessen these troubles is fixing and thinking solutions or recommendations about it. You can start by telling your partner that all of you needs to save money now and cut overloading expenses. Like, there will be no shopping or mall trips for a while because addressing the problems first will be your family’s priorities for now.
These are the basic activities that you can do to spend a quality time with your children. These are some of the helpful advice of the article, “Bonding With Your Child“, in order to get closer with them each day:
First, is talking about feelings.
Have a heart to heart talk conversation with your children during dinners or set a schedule for them one at a time. Tell them that its okay to talk their problems with you because you are a parent too and will never be disheartened in their decisions. Let them cry with your shoulder as they talk about what goes in their day and the heavy pressures they feel in the society. As a parent and adult, be unbiased and accept all the words they are saying so that it will release their suppressed frustrations in which they kept for long. After that, give them guide or advices for them on what they should do with their problems and ask what other obstacles are they facing now.
Second, is the importance of play.
Playing can also be a recreational activity in which it can release positive energy, relax or wind down, and trying out different ideas is a terrific kind of bonding time that will shape a good connection between the parents and children. Unleashing your inner childish side with your children sounds exciting right? You can also host cosplays with them too like imitating a model and do a signature pose together with your children and take pictures with it. Add appealing designs to your pictures on the phone and have it uploaded on your social media or put it in a photo album so that you can recall those memories day by day.
(Still running out of ideas on what kinds of bonding you can spend with your children, then read the article “Bonding With Your Child” in this link : https://www.betterrelationships.org.au/family-parenting/how-to-have-a-healthy-family/bond-with-your-child/)
Third, buy your children with a simple treat like cake or an ice cream.
Have you notice that your kids are talking about ice cream for a whole day and how much they want to eat it? Do not hesitate to purchase it now. This is an adorable mini-gift for them because of their upright moral values that they learned from you. Are they doing good in school? Then why not buy a sweet cake for them that you saw in a baking store? This will create an image for them that whenever they do something good or if they are encountering misfortunes too, is that you are there for them and a single ice cream or cake will clear their troubles away.
Lastly, go to the park and mall during your day offs.
Seeing your children’s laughter is also a cure for your tensions due to work or other personal reasons. Once you get a day off, go outside with your kids and savor your bonding with them. You can play to an arcade and take part in shooting hoops too. Show your athletic side to your children in which they will spot your other side too. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to observe your children’s favorites too that will make your next travels more exciting. Ride a bicycle with them in the parks too and push them gently on the swing or a slide. You can be their partner too when all of you tries seesaw, making your bond stronger than before.
All in all, your family will always be there to support you through thick by thin. But you also need to respect their feelings too. In a family, it is not all about individualism anymore because those stages of your loneliness are now all gone because you are now inside a team. But unlike any teams, these people are the ones who will loved and understand for who you are and its your responsibility to reciprocate those feelings. They need your time and recognition too. One day of spending quality time with you is not just enough for them, but they will see it as a blessing in disguise because you finally have a wonderful family moment.
REFERENCES/LINKS:
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-attention-in-relationship/
All images are from : https://www.pexels.com/
